我愛你 可是我不後悔 曾不後悔

友誼

友誼很奇怪。
有時間的時候，友誼好強烈。
沒時間的時候，好像變成了陌生人。

我從不相信quantity of time spent能衡量友誼，彼此認識的時間並不能代表甚麼。
但沒見，真的漸漸的疏遠。
不知道為甚麼，總是安排不到時間見面。
明明就還有regularly見到我其他認識比較久的朋友，為甚麼就沒見到你們。

這疏遠的感覺不好受。
我不喜歡，我不要。
兩個人的相遇就是緣份。

但在對友誼懷疑時，看到tweeter的message，我心裡是亮了。
我還沒失去友誼吧？
非常想念。

回憶。

歉意

不知道。
不知道。
不知道。

看看周圍。

拜託自己記得:
世界不是旋繞著我。

我有甚麼權利？
我有甚麼資格？

我做錯了嗎？

the uncanny resemblances between me and mum

On the way back from the airport a few nights ago...

Mum: Wah we're at Clementi already?
Me: (looks around and spots exit sign on expressway written "Paya Lebar") No, we're nowhere near Clementi.

*wonders why my mum can't recognise Singapore anymore only after about 1 month*

Mum: Oh we're at Bukit Timah already...
Me: (looks around again) No, we're opposite our house. =,=

*amazed that mum can't recognise Jurong anymore*

But somehow, this reminds me of the time when I just came back from one month of Hong Kong and I pointed to Heeren and asked if it were Paragon.
----------------------------
Mum unpacks luggage and takes out 2 packs of fruit loops, proudly telling me she disposed the boxes so that it's easier to pack into the luggage.

Me: Isn't is the same as Singapore's fruit loops...?!?
Mum: 這個是美國的fruit loops mah!!
Me: =,=

Again, somehow, this reminds me of the time I bought Vitasoy back from Hong Kong, but well, at least I bought a flavour that wasn't available in Singapore ok.

Trust

信任。
我超容易信任別人。
但，往往卻信不過自己。

腦海里的想法，
心里的真心話，
行動舉動的表示。

一切，一切，
從不讓我整體覺得舒服，
從不讓我覺得自己是信的過的。

Stop deluding myself

I have to stop lying to myself that my tolerance level is high.

我不是不想幫你們，我不是不想用心的做，但可能因為我的辦事能力非常，非常有限，而引起了那麼多麻煩。

我很辛苦。

我越想越辛苦。

我快放棄了。

我很不開心。

我想要安靜，平靜。

Lesson learnt about taking nightrider

Waking up to an unfamiliar environment, and the next moment the bus driver switches the lights off. Did he even notice I was on the bus?

Hurriedly pressing the bell and alighting from the bus to look at the lorry park behind the bus stop, and a totally unfamiliar estate opposite the road.

Started looking up and down the road with slight panic because there were no taxis at all.

Argh.

Next time, I must remind myself not to fall asleep when I take nightrider home.